After My Conference

Today I had my conference with Dr. Lorde on project 5. I was the first one to go up, which was very nice for me since I was in and out within fifteen minutes. I had some errands to run around campus, which I'm glad because if I had just left, I would have forgotten to give one of the other students his peer review I did last class.

I was surprised on how well my conference went. I was especially glad that I did the definitions portion of the essay correctly, because that was what I felt like I had the most trouble doing. All I need to do is polish it up and refine what I said to match my thesis a little better, which means focusing the paper more overtly in disability studies.

This was actually something I noticed too, because I felt like I needed to rope in all of the definitions to be part of the bigger picture.  Additionally I need to change "nonvisible" to "hidden" disability for terminology purposes.

As far as the analysis, I picked good scenes and I am glad that they worked as well as they did. The only changes I need to make are to cut out the irrelevant bits of scenery described, and quote more of the dialogue directly rather than paraphrasing. I also need to explain facial expressions in a more analytical manner, such as "his eyes were downcast and his mouth seemed to droop down into a frown," rather than something like "he looked upset." I need to include any relevant sounds or music in the background too, if there are any.

Now I'm curious if I missed something in those scenes I've watched fifty times over.

The little things I'll be changing are those irritating "I will do x" and "I believe x" phrases that I wrote in to state my opinion. I put them in there to sound like some of the "They say/I Say" formats, but I did it in a way that was too blunt. I'll be changing them out for something more flowing, like "The point is that x" as suggested. I'll also fix the MLA in-text citations to be (Author 15) instead of (Author, 15). That'll teach me for going to a friend instead of google.


Finally, I'll be changing my thesis wording a bit, and creating an introduction that introduces the scene of Tony describing his iron man suit as a prosthesis.


For once this week and despite being sick with a cold again, everything's coming up Sabrina.